Things I have learnt this year, including but not limited to and in no particular order:
1. Technological Determination
2. Biological Determination
3. Commodity Fetishism
4. Rhizomatic Disassociation
5. Merged Media
6. Patience and Irritibility
7. Embrace a Cyborg Life
8. Post Post-Modernist Discourse (PoPoMo)
9. A Decoder Ring and the lack of one.
10. I am not the artist I thought I was
11. I am dead, but my death does not come easily
12. I am one giant signifier
13. His stuff was crap
14. Arbitrary chains of signification
15. “Art School” is a descriptive term
16. Phantasmagoria
17. Late Capitalism vs. Marxism Dialect?
18. John Malkovitch is a Post Modern Metaphor
19. Art is useless as a Post Modern Metaphor
20. Art is useless as a Political Catalyst
21. Art is useless as a Commodity
22. Art is useless as a Communication
23. There is no grand narrative
24. There is no transcendental signifier
25. There is no spell check for a dry erase marker
26. Practical Post Modernism gets you a beach house in Nova Scotia
27. Art school is hard
28. French theorists die interesting deaths
29. Flash Memory is NOT Indestructible
30. Listening to the input of others is good…to a point
31. I am a 14 year old dyke
32. Knowing everything doesn’t make you smart
33. Naked women are just that
34. Cyclops can eat shit and die
35. A cup of coffee is nice
36. Subversion should be subverted
37. The California vegetable sandwich has more calories than a Big Mac.
38. Its Tuesday, show me your erection
39. On The Hill is closed on Sunday
40. And any other time you want to be there
41. An orgasm is like a sneeze
42. According to urban legend, a sneeze is 1/8 of an orgasm
43. See Point 30
44. Sometimes a sneeze is better than an orgasm, depending on the guy
45. Georgie is my friend.
46. Rendering is for soap, not art
47. The tanks are coming for you in DC…in Baltimore…in LA…in Nova Scotia
48. The government privileges water boarding over snowboarding.
49. Make sure your feces doesn’t come back in the cinema
50. Crisis Century=Purgatory
51. Its not the size of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean
52. Wasabi makes everything better
53. ________ loves doing paperwork in the buff
54. Animation is time consuming
55. You can cook water
56. You’re goddamn right you can cook water
57. Its polite practice to wait for those getting OFF the elevator to actually get off before going in
58. Art is hard
59. You have to pay in many Baltimore restaurants.
60. Perhaps if you curl yourself into a ball, the suffering will be over
61. Its good to be Goodman
62. Beaudrillard is dead, so everything can go back to normal now.
63. I have a masters degree and I cant even spell Beaudrillard
64. BAUDRILLARD
65. Dear mom, eat my asshole. Please. Its dying to meet you.
66. Sergio may not leave the bathroom until he has thrown up
67. Nia gets wasted with Maria
68. What’s your problem? He said “a thousand times, NO”
69. To #65, you can do that with a spoon
70. Expo is out of ink
71. Anthony Aziz hasn’t seen vulva in over 25 years
72. I made it, now what?
73. Do you sit down to pee?
74. The prostate is a heavenly source of pleasure
75. Legs can also be referred to as “gams”
76. MICA= My Identity Costs Alot
As most of you know, at the beginning of November, I was at a workshop sponsored by the Association of Independent Art Schools (AIAS) in Zurich, Switzerland, where we intervened in the daily life of the city for 24 hours straight under the auspices of the elusive and much-feared urban research team, "forschungsgruppe-f." Here are some photos, but there's a heckuva lot more to see at the following link...including a rather embarrassing video of me flopping backwards onto a specially made flopping device in the main train station. Also check out the newspaper, which has some texts that I wrote (but I can't claim credit for the urban mayonnaise text).
